I’m really enjoying doing a bit of creative writing now and then. I’m also noticing that I tend to dislike it when I fall into the style of storytelling where I directly describe the world. So for example when I write something like, “the politicians in this time would almost never wear hats, so this seemed strange to Peter” instead of implying that the world is a certain way. In this instance I could write that in this world, if someone becomes offended by your political stance they might say, “say that with your hat off and we can start a real discussion”. That was an awful example.
Actually, I notice two distinct concepts here: pace and whether to be direct.
I’m finding it’s possible to be fast or slow and also be direct or indirect.
OK, so take an example where a father and Son are camping in the forest and the scene starts with a description of a lake surrounded by towering pines before immense forested mountains rising out of the ground.
Sometimes when I’m reading I enjoy the slow pace of having to read a page of some poetic scene-setting prose and in this case it would really bring home that feeling of the characters being isolated in nature because there’s literally a wall of text surrounding the part where they come in.
Other times I’ll be craving the immediacy of pace where the description starts with the characters as they interact with the forest, moving through it until they reach the lake and stop to drink water and bathe beneath the incredible mountain range watching down on them. The pace/intensity could be increased more so by barely mentioning the surroundings and focussing entirely on the characters and their actions:
“The Son calls back to the Father that he found the lake but the pouring rain slowed his progress as he struggled with his injured leg. The Son called again to the Father who had stopped and leant up against a pine to keep balance, energy drained and soaked through, he pushed onwards. The hidden entrance was obscured beneath the surface. They would have to swim to reach it.”
With such a high pace, there’s no option but to describe less about the world and it feels more natural to be quite direct (i.e. “the pouring rain”). The details are short and have a certain potency to keep the reader grasping for every sentence. But there’s still a sense of almost comfort in being given these details.
Trying to be indirect could be useful for injecting more drama and confusion to the scene:
“Dad? The lake! I’ve found the lake!”
“Dad?”
“I’m coming, just give me a moment” came a pained cry in the distance.
Peter grabbed his Dad’s crutch and threw it onto the sodden Earth, removing his soaked clothes.
“You can still use your arms right?”
“Should be fine, let’s get inside”
Peter put an arm around his father as the water came to waist level and as they moved further, they became completely submerged. Eyes open, Peter scouted the entrance and swam for both of them letting out air from his lungs in to dive deeper.
They reached the entrance…”
So the reader might feel a bit uncomfortable there or tense because they aren’t getting the full picture, but just gimpses. Notice I didn’t mention it was raining or that they were about to swim or why their clothes were wet or why they were entering the lake. All of that revealed itself over time in the mind of the reader (hopefully).
Anyway, this is probably basic writing stuff and I should go read a book about it or something.